Remembering Bo

I had the wind knocked out of me last night (figuratively that is). You see, March 11 (or maybe it was the 12, I'd have to go back and look), was the anniversary of rescuing Bo from an auction). If you go back to March 2011, you can read about us brining him home. It was a definite leap of fate to bring him home but I am so glad that we did.

He was a hard keeper and had many health issues. In the end we found out that he had a heart murmur and that's most likely why he was such a hard keeper. But we sort of think that maybe the stress of his previous life is what caused much of his body condition.

So last February (February 26th to be exact), we said good bye to our sweet Bo after his body failed him. He wasn't even in his 20s yet but his body had deteriorated to such a degree that we couldn't let him suffer. It's a bit hard for me to come to terms with him being gone. For seven years he was always at the gate waiting to be fed. He was always coming up to see what I was doing. He was always there for seven years. Even a year later, looking out into the herd, it still feels weird and wrong that he's not there. I have yet to adjust to him being gone. Chores are easier, I don't have to wait two hours for him to finish his grain. I don't have to worry about what grain mash I should make to ensure he maintains what little weight he has. I don't have to worry about him being chased around by any of the other but it still feels wrong. How can a year pass, and I still can't get into the right routine?

It sometimes blows my mind how a horse can have such an impact on a person. Bo was one of those horses. Even with all that he'd gone through, with all his health issues, he was still a happy horse. He was always happy to see me, always happy to do what I asked of him, always happy to hang out with his best friend. Always happy.

I need to remember to be more like Bo. Enjoy life as it comes. Be happy for what life brings you and take pleasure in what surrounds you.

You aren't forgotten Bo.

Seven Years Ago

Yesterday marked the seven year anniversary of when we pulled Bo from an auction, emaciated and near death. It also marked the two week loss of him leaving this Earth. It was bitter sweet and I couldn't seem to put words to anything that I was feeling.


It's so hard to not think of him. It's so hard not to think I need to go out and do chores and feed Bo. I've spent almost seven years worrying about Bo, feeding him, and wondering what to do right to make him gain weight and feel better.


I will cherish the time we had together. I'm still heartbroken over his loss. Gone too young.


The first three pictures are of Bo the day after we brought him home. It was late when we finally made it home that day and wanted to let him settle in (we weren't sure he'd make the night). The pictures don't show the extent of his condition but you can see the shell shock in his eyes.

The following is from Bo about two weeks after. I'd thrown a blanket on him to help ward off the chill so now you can actually see the devastation his body went through. Winter hair hides much weight loss.

This next one is of Bo two months into his recovery. Gaining slowly the weight he lost.

And sadly, this is Bo after his prognosis of heart failure back in October. The weight we'd worked so hard to put on and that would easily drop off was falling off and staying off.

And this is Bo during the winter. Already the blanket doesn't fit as nicely as it had (or should). He'd lived in that blanket this winter to try and keep the chill off of him. It was painful to watch his condition and know when to make the right decision to say goodbye.

So yesterday and today is bitter sweet. Others have come and gone and made an impact as well but for some reason Bo's loss leaves a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.


But as the saying goes, in death, life goes on. And we will continue moving forward to care for more senior horses and horses as deserving as Bo. God speed Bo.

Life Lessons from Bo

When I reflect back on the time I had with Bo, I realized that Bo taught me two very important lessons. Each horse will teach you a lesson; its' simply a matter of recognizing that lesson and putting it to use.


Bo had a hard life. I don't know his entire past nor will I ever know but I do know that at one point, he had it very hard, to the point where he nearly died. You would think that all he'd been through, all he'd experienced, that he would be angry. But he wasn't.  Here in lies the first lesson from Bo's Book of Life.


Forgive and Forget
Bo never once held a grudge to me or any other human for the poor treatment he was dealt that nearly killed him. He was never anything but a gentleman. Even on that fateful day almost 7 years ago, when I put that halter on him to lead him to the trailer (instead of rushing him through aisles as loose horses are typically loaded), Bo raised his head a little higher. It was almost as if he was proud to wear that halter and to know that he was owned and loved by someone. And this even though he was emaciated and near death. For all the terrible things that he'd experienced, he'd forgiven and forgotten.  In the seven years we were together, Bo never carried a grudge.


And that leads me to the second life lesson.


Be Happy
Bo was always happy. He never looked at his past as something to dread. He looked to the future and was always happy. Even though he was bottom of the pecking order, he knew how to avoid the aggressive horses and was simply happy to be near his best friend, Zeke. I have never known a happier horse.


He was handed an unfair lot in life and yet he never let that get him down. All the misfortune he went through even after coming to the Sanctuary, he never let that get him down. Only once did I see him ever be anything but happy and that was when Lightening tried to steal Zeke away as best friend. Otherwise, Bo has always been happy.


We would all benefit from taking a page from Bo's Book of Life and to read and understand more on how to look at the world differently.


I know that I do not forgive nor do I ever forget a wrong done to me. I need to be like Bo and simply let it go. Its' in the past and I need to walk way from it because there is more and much better coming. And that which is coming, shall make me happy. I come from a long line of worriers so simply being happy is a bit harder to do but I want to follow in Bo's foot steps and simply be happy.


So in honor of Bo, I'm going to spend the month of March showing you all what makes me happy. I'm sure some days will be difficult but even the simplest things can and should make me happy. In a world full of "stuff" and "gadgets" sometimes it's the simple things like a sunset or a soft breeze that really makes one happy.


So here's to you Bo on making sure I am happy.


Thank you for teaching me these two very important life lessons.
Love you always Bo

Goodbye Bo

I've struggled to write this post all week. I've composed it a million times in my head but when it comes right down to putting thoughts on paper (or online for that matter), I just couldn't bring myself to do it until now.


We lost Bo Monday.


It is odd how timing all came to play into the decision. I've been waiting for Bo to give me the sign he was ready and he hadn't ever given that sign. When I was in to the vets on Friday with Farley (he wasn't feeling well and I didn't want to go into the weekend with a sick dog). The vet informed me that starting March 1st (today), rendering services will no longer pick up animals that have been humanely euthanized (even the sedative used to castrate, which is the second sedative when euthanizing) is not allowed.


I spent Friday night in a tizzy with much crying. Bo still hadn't given me the sign he was ready so how could I even though he's going downhill? I did weigh the options all day Saturday and the thoughts sat very heavy on my heart and mind. If I chose to put him down, was I ending his life too early but if I waited would he go down? This time of year is a terrible time to have a horse go down. We don't have the option to bury. I certainly cannot afford to hire a backhoe or excavator to bury a horse.


We are a Sanctuary that focuses on old horses. Since losing my first horse February 25, 2007, we have lost 17 horses (counting Bo). That's 17 horses in 11 years. Along with that, we've lost 3 dogs, and a number of two-legged family members in that time frame. I have not had a year in 11 years where I have not lost someone I've loved (either two legged or four). It's a hard loss when I think about it. We focus on the senior horses so we are going to have more come through our doors and not stay for very long. It's a more common occurrence so when the vet told me of the news, I became worried. This changes everything for us.


Sunday morning I checked in on Bo and I knew. He gave me the sign he was ready. Maybe he'd been giving me the sign all along and I was too blinded to see it but it was very clear Sunday morning. Had I had the opportunity, I would have let him go right then. His hips were bothering him too much for him to feel comfortable. Even in the evening when he came in for his grain, he did not let out his gigantic whinny to show his excitement for supper. So he was clearly giving me the sign that I needed to let go. I'm sure he'd given me the sign many times before but I was too blinded by....by what I don't know but I was too blinded to let go. I guess I was selfish in wanting to keep him around. Fate seems to have played him a cruel hand at life even if he didn't see it that way.


So on Monday, I called the vet to make arrangements. Even though later this week would be much nicer, the opportunity for us to have the rendering service take him was limited to three short days and Monday was the nicest day. I wanted him to have a warm day, even if he couldn't have grass in his belly, I wanted sun on his back when he went.


He hated the vet, he hated needles so I was worried. Because of his heart failure, it didn't take long and he was gone within a blink of an eye.


I've noticed it twice now when having to lose horses. I'd stopped to get gas before heading to the vet and the world seemed too loud. It's fairly quiet at the Sanctuary. It's the way I want to keep it so that there's very little commotion and stress for the horses. But the real world seemed all too loud Monday morning. I had that same experience when I had to take Rabbit in to the vet as well. I wanted the world to come to a stop and for everything to be quiet.


The place doesn't seem right without Bo standing at the gate waiting for me. In the evenings, I sneak into the barn thinking Bo will hear me and then realize that he's not here. On that Monday morning, I'd let Bo out to wander because I'd do that for him every once in a while. Even his hoof prints in the snow are slowly melting away and I have no physical reminder of him.


I have lost others but for some reason Bo had a strong old on my heart...and still does. Sometimes you choose your horse and other times, they choose you.

Goodbye my sweet, sweet Bo. Until we meet again.

Born - 2001

March 12, 2011 - February 26, 2017

Mourning

We lost Bo yesterday.


It's very difficult to write those words.


His death was 11 years and one day after the loss of my very first horse, my dream horse. It's a hard pill to swallow.


I started to think about all those that have gone before Bo. 17 horses in 11 years. For me, that's a lot of loss but I remember each one so fondly. In between those 17 horses, we also lost dogs and humans, all who supported our endeavors. We have not had a year without loss of someone.


But that is the life of a Sanctuary focused on senior horses. It is the part of the job I hate. But it is also the part that must be done that others will not.


I will share more but  not today. Today, as I did yesterday, I mourn. I also rejoice in knowing that Bo is pain free and can share his happy personality with others in heaven. But for me, left behind, I mourn.

Thinking About Bo

I cried myself to sleep last night. I don't think Bo has much time left on this Earth and I think he's going to leave it to me to make that decision rather than go on his own (but most have forced me to make the decision for them as well). It's always a tough decision. It's devastating for me but for some reason, I'm really struggling with Bo.


The other night, I went out to let him out of his stall and he let out the biggest whinny. It's the same whinny I get when it's time to eat, but this time it was simply to say hello. Or it could have been, LET ME OUT because I'd left him in with no friends. Jim rushed at him trying to get into the barn and I'd had enough of Jim's bad behavior rushing the door and either pushing Bo out of the way or trying to cram two bodies in through a door the size of me.


But that whinny. That loud, vocal hello (or get me outta here, whichever it was), is too much for me. His mind and spirit are still so very, very active and yet his body is breaking down right before my eyes. He always comes up lame, every 6-8 months and it's never the same foot or leg. But this time, it's painfully obvious that his entire back end hurts, more so his right rear.  He's also starting to drop weight even though he's on a heavy ration of grain that helps with his ulcers.


Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe I'm keeping him around only to be selfish because I don't want to make that decision. I'm going to have to make that phone call pretty soon though. But it hurts and he hasnt' told me he's ready. His body has but his mind has not. How can I be so unfair? How is it fair to keep him going when his body is falling apart right before my eyes? But how is it fair to say goodbye to someone who greets me at the gate and demands his grain every day?


Bo has always been a complicated horse and I can see now that even in his upcoming, death, he's going to be complicated. Normally I can easily make the decision. Don't get me wrong. Easy is not spoken lightly. I simply know. I know when they are failing and need help. It's not an easy decision nor is it taken lightly. But it's written as plan as letters on a page but with Bo. It's there but I can't seem to read the writing. Maybe I'm being selfish. I don't know. I don't want him to go alone but I also don't want to stress him out because he hates being in a trailer and despises the vet. So that adds undue burden to him. But I don't want to take Zeke because then Zeke will "know" and I don't want to sacrifice one horse's wellbeing for another.


So I wait and I watch and I worry. I would say I'll have to make a decision sometime in March but I just dont' know. That would have given him an additional 5 months from his prognosis in October. It's 5 extra months to have enjoyed Bo's company but it's still only 5 months.


I'm feeling selfish but I'm also not seeing all the signs I normally see. So I don't know. So instead I wait a little longer. For what, I have no idea. It's not like the outcome is going to change. But I wait and I cry myself to sleep thinking about Bo.

Be My Valentine - Bo

Meet Bo
Bo has been a special case since they day I laid eyes on him. We rescued him from an auction when he, along with his emaciated herd mates, were ordered to go to auction. There are many rumors that have swirled around Bo. I've even been accused of being the one to send him to auction. Only those who actually know me would know what a laughable statement that is. But we outbid the killbuyer and brought him home for $110. I wasn't sure he was going to even make the trip home.


We nursed him back to health but he's always been a difficult one to care for. From the get go, he's been classified as a hard keeper. Every year one thing or another would happen and we'd be faced with more challenges: severe lameness, ulcers, weight loss, breathing issues, and now heart failure.


The minute the vet uttered "heart failure" my heart broke because there was  nothing more I could do for Bo. I can keep him comfortable and as happy as possible but I cannot bring his body back from the wreckage. So now, as the days pass, we constantly watch to ensure Bo's quality of life is where it needs to be.


Even with the abuse and neglect he endured  before coming to the Sanctuary, he is still a happy horse, always greeting me with a huge whinny (it's because of the grain but I'll take it). I think Bo knew he was close to death and there seems to be a different bond between him and me than any of the other horses. He still has no ground manners and will run me over if someone challenges his space. He's the lowest on the pecking order but has figured out evasive maneuvers to get away (which include running me over if need be).


But Bo is sweet. He has a kind heart and wants to love and be loved. He watches me just as closely as I watch him. If only his condition wasn't to this point. If only we could have met years ago. I believe we would have been an amazing riding team. We did go for a short ride but his previous life stressed him out for riding so I only took him once on a short excursion before realizing that from no on, he needs to stay home and stay quiet.


He's best friends with Zeke but now that he's in the barn over the winter eating, he's getting to know Jim a little more. They tolerate each other in the barn but I was hoping they'd at last hang out a little bit in the big herd, but so far that's not happening.


Bo has taken to sticking to himself, patiently waiting for his evening grain and hanging out with me.


I wish that I could speak more eloquently about Bo to show you how much of an amazing horse he is. I hesitate to post pictures because his heart failure is taking its toll on this body and we've always fought to gain any ground on his weight problem. But pictures dont' do justice to Bo's spirit and energy. He doesn't have the demanding presence but he has a different presence that for me is somewhat calming. There's just something about Bo that I can't put into words that I wish I could share with you all. Bo is a very special horse and although he won't be on this earth for very much longer, I would love to share him with you so you too can see what an amazing horse he is.


If you'd like to sponsor him, monthly sponsorships are $50 and it would go to buying Ramona feed (which is what keeps the ulcers at bay) and senior feed (which hopefully keeps some weight on him), along with a weight booster supplement and buteless supplement (to ease the aches and pains he's experiencing during this cold snap). In return, you'll receive monthly updates and pictures of Bo (mostly eating his grain!)


#MyValentine

Health Issues

I'm stressing over sick horses. I wasn't expecting Maverick to not feel well. He's my tried and true, my ever present, always happy, always healthy horse and he's not. I have a sneaky suspicion that it's the hay giving him problems.


Last night he was very pensive and downright grumpy, which is something he is NEVER. He had good gut sounds so it's definitely not colic and I thought maybe in the  morning he'd improve. This  morning I checked on him and he's still "off". He's farting but he's still not right.


We put in hay Sunday morning and Sunday evening I saw him, Lightening, and King all curled up snoozing. I am always a little paranoid when someone lies down but they all seemed ok. I didn't get a chance to really look at the herd Monday, too much chaos and commotion going on to really notice. And then all of a sudden it's Tuesday night and Maverick has this look on his face. No one else would notice it but I did.


Mike is going to pick up a 10ml syringe tonight at TSC so I don't have to try and give two doses of banamine. I know he's good about taking meds but that won't last for long if I have to give him two or three doses every time. I'm planning on pulling him out of the big herd and putting him in a smaller pen. He'll hate it but then I can keep track of him a little closer. I'll throw good small squares of hay and if he perks up, I'll know it's the hay.


This isn't the first time we've had problems with hay. I don't know the field where this hay came from. I don't know the true quality of it like the stuff we normally get. I'm wondering if there isnt' some switch grass in there causing problems. I only say that because a few years back when we had to use CRP hay, Queen would colic every time we put  a new bale of hay in. And it almost matches the same symptoms and time frame. No one else is having problems but that's not to say there isn't buildup. This hay has been ok but there's chaff and I don't like dealing with chaff. I want to go with our old hay guy.


If it truly is the hay, I'll be making a run up to Madison to buy Maverick a big bale of good, dairy quality hay and he'll simply be stuck in that pen until the big herd is done with those two bales. I expect it'll take more than a week to eat it down. That means hauling water twice a day, all the way back to the red shed. It's a pain, especially when I'm running late in the  mornings but it needs to be done.


On top of Maverick not feeling well, Bo's back end is bothering him. I hope it's just today that is bothering him. It comes and goes but today was bad enough for me to notice. He hides his pain but you can tell simply by the way he stands and shifts his weight. That sign tells me he's ready to let go but when he looks at me, his eyes don't tell me he's ready to go. His eyes are bright, happy and energetic. His mind and spirit are still there but his body is failing him. So when is it the right time? What am I waiting for? His body is failing him right before my eyes and I seem to be waiting for what? A miracle? Something to change the inevitable? I keep waiting and hoping that everyone is wrong as his body continues to fail. But his mind and spirit are still strong. They are still very present in the moment. So what do I do? Instead I wait. I don't want him to leave this worth with snow under his body and clouds in the sky I want him to  leave with grass in his belly and sun on his back. So I wait. I watch. I worry. Bo and I could use some good thoughts right about now.

Wishlist Wednsday

Wishlist Wednesday

Our Wishlist Wednesday is a wish we are always asking for...hay. We are always in need of hay (and alfalfa) in any shape or quantity. We are not picky on what type of hay we get (round bales, big squares, small squares, etc.). We are always in need.

It's amazing how quickly the horses go through hay and how even $5 can buy a bale of hay and keep a senior horse fat and sassy.

Lightening

Bo

Wishlist Wednesday

Wishlist Wednesday

This Wishlist Wednesday, we wish for Ramona Feed. We like feeding Ramona feed to our senior horses. It's a mix of oats, cracked corn, and I believe soy meal or some other special ingredient that helps pack on the pounds and keep the horses fat and sassy.

We've discovered that Ramona Feed works well for those horses that experience ulcer while eating grains that include molasses. We like using Ramona Feed on Bo to keep his ulcers at bay but also to make sure that he keeps his weight. 

We'd love to have an entire barn full of Ramona Feed. A bag of Ramona Feed costs just over $10 and you can find it directly at Ramona Warehouse in Ramona, South Dakota or at A Bar K in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Even one bag makes a difference for the horses at the Sanctuary.

Picture Courtesy Ramona Warehouse

Bo (from this summer waiting for his grain)

Wishlist Wednesday

Wishlist Wednesday

This Wishlist Wednesday, we wish for blankets. The cold snap we've been feeling is definitely a reminder that some of our Sanctuary residents need blankets to keep them warm during the coldest parts of winter. 

Any size, any color, any brand, and in almost any condition (used is greatly appreciated as well as new) are always welcome. The horses aren't picky on what they wear. It's amazing how quickly certain horses can destroy their blankets while others keep them for a long time.

Picture Updates

Because I haven't posted recent pictures of the horses lately....

Bo coming in for his grain

Lightening was curious but Zeke could care less

Zeke, Lightening, and Dude in the background

Chaos, Brego, and Rain in his blanket

Bo found the hole in the haynet

Dude

Dude (his leg is cocked so that explains the funky hip)

Brego

Forethought

Last night I went out to do chores (as I always do) but knew I was in for extra chores because of this upcoming storm. Originally the weatherman had predicted rain turning into snow, which meant wet and cold horses. Not good.


The wind was pretty fierce and I knew I'd have to leave Junior in his outside stall until we got back from church so I threw a blanket to ward against the wind chill. He's definitely changed since we first got him. He's gotten less accustomed to my movements and I'm not sure why. I wonder if he's going blind but I don't see any drastic changes in his eyes or even any spots. But the older he gets, the more unsure of anything I do. He's taken to spooking at the hose when I drag it through his pen to fill the water tank. And now he's taken to not liking his blanket or even having me come close with his blanket (or come close to him at all). He used to be a riding horse so he's used to people approaching him with a saddle pad and saddle. It's all very weird. As the years progress, he's more uncomfortable with anyone but horses approaching him. He's getting a bigger bubble as he gets older.


I also pulled in Bo, Jim, and Rain so that it would be easier to put hay in after we got back. Of course we didnt' get home until 9pm. There's nothing romantic about putting hay in late at night. Luckily most of the herd was out on the pasture, which is a good indication that the bales were done. What was left is mostly chaff and I'm disappointed that there's that much chaff to deal with. I am apparently a hay snob because all of our hay in years past never had any chaff and the horses would polish it completely.


I'm glad we put hay in last night instead of tonight. It's much colder today and there will be more snow. It's better to be pre-emptive and get things done before the bad weather hits (although it hasn't gotten bad and maybe it's not going to be bad this time around). But I'm definitely glad to see new bales sitting in the drylot for the horses.


They have figured out how to pull the hay nets off the bales and that drives me insane. So what used to take just a few minutes to get the nets on, takes twice as long because I have to secure the nets to the hay rings. I need to device a way to keep the hay nets on without having to spend a half an hour tying them to the ring.


I checked Bo out last night a little closer before putting his blanket on. He's doing much better. The cut on his leg is healing nicely. I really didn't think it would heal this fast or this nice, what with it being so deep and in such a bad spot. There was no way to stitch it so I figured it would never heal,  especially with Bo's heart failure.


But I'm wondering now about Bo. His heart rate was elevated because he was at the vet's. He's uncomfortable going anywhere and we've only taken him to a few different places over the years so even though he loads like a dream, he stays home most of the time. We like to keep the horses as calm as possible which means they don't actually leave the Sanctuary all that often. I really thought after we got home from the vet that Bo wouldn't be around much longer. But he's proved me wrong. I think with a calm environment, he'll do just fine.


The air pocket in his shoulder is also diminishing. It covered his entire right shoulder, started to creep up his neck and wrapped around his entire chest. I was worried but there was nothing we could do. The body is an amazing thing. Bo's air pocket is starting to diminish. There isn't nearly as much air in his shoulder. In fact, last night before I put his blanket on, I asked him to move and forgot and pushed his right shoulder. It crinkled. It was a little creepy but there was definitely less air. So investigated more and there is less air everywhere. Even in his chest, there is less air. There's still a big air pocket in his chest but that too will go away in time.


I figured with Bo in heart failure and then a deep leg cut and air pocket, that would be the end of him. But his body, even in heart failure is taking care of him. Now it's my turn to take care of Bo. We are keeping the ulcers at bay by feeding him Ramona feed. It's not easily accessible but we'll do what we can to keep him fed. It's a mix of oats, cracked corn and I believe soymeal. He's not gaining weight but he's also not losing weight. I also started adding in a scoop of senior to see if that would bother him but so far it hasn't.


I have been keeping a watchful eye on Brego. With Ivan gone, Brego is lost. Zeke on the other hand knows that Brego is depressed and has taken him  under his wing. I'm a little worried that it would cause Bo problems but I think everything is ok. So now it's the three amigos and Lightening will show up every once in a while. With Ivan now gone, there is less harassing for Bo. Ivan liked to torment Bo so that's at least one less worry... I guess.


Brego is doing well. He's still depressed but he's moving forward. Ivan wasn't the first best friend that he lost. He lost Sam a few years back but he wasn't nearly as attached as he was to Ivan. But now that he's friends with Zeke, hopefully he can adjust. I worry though because Zeke is 25 and how many more years will Zeke be around. Poor Brego will lose another best friend. But it's part of Sanctuary life.


But overall, everyone is healthy and happy. A few of the hard keepers are tucked in their blankets although I'm sure I overreacted. Now to deal with super cold temps. I guess that's what happens in winter. Just glad I had enough forethought to get everything done last night instead of tonight when it's so much colder.

Bo Update and other Misc Stuff

I sound like a broken record these days. There's just so much to do and so little time to get it all done. I seem to be struggling as of late and not sure how to get everything accomplished. The paying job has me hopping and by the end of the day my brain is done in. I guess we'll see if I can pull through with a fully functioning brain after this. Two and a half months of high pressure coming my way. But enough of that.


The last few days have been so chaotic that I havent' been able to do a really good assessment of Bo. So last night, I did a quick assessment and I am happy.


His leg is healing nicely. I need to do some cleanup and trim the hair around the cut but it's healing so that you wouldn't even know there was a huge gash in his leg. The swelling in that leg has also gone down. There's still swelling in his back legs from his heart failure but that's a different thing. The swelling in the front leg is much improved and he doesn't seem to be bothered by it at all. His back end is bothering him, which does give me some concern but he's been having issues with his hips for the last couple of months.


The air pocket that started in his shoulder and that started moving up his neck and wrapped all the way around his chest is starting to go away. The air is out of his neck and there's only a small pocket in his shoulder. It's all in his chest. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not but his body is taking care of him. It's odd to tap on his shoulder to get him to move and feel that air pocket so I'm really happy it's going away. Even in heart failure, his body is still working hard to keep him protected.


He's back in the big herd but I'm not sure if that's helping or not. It's keeping the swelling down because he's constantly moving but I'm not sure about the depression. Being away from horses caused him depression but being in the big herd causes him stresses as well.


We did switch his grain around and he's been improving on that so no ulcers have reared its ugly head. It's Ramona feed and consists of oats, cracked corn, and I think soy meal. He's not gaining weight but he's also not losing weight either. I started adding in some senior feed. Originally it was to get him to eat his uniprim but after he finished with that, I continued on using it to see if that would help with the weight issue.


I think his heart was pounding so bad when we went to the vet that I was sure he was going to die within days. But now that he's home and relaxed with a standard routine, he's a lot calmer. We could have him for a few more months at this rate.. and that makes me happy. I won't prolong his life just to keep me happy but I want to make sure I've done everything. He hasn't told me he's ready to go.


There for awhile, he was off his feed and that scared me but I think now that he's back into his normal routine with the herd, he's much happier and he's been polishing off all of his grain.


We are headed into a cold snap so I'll be blanketing a few of the hard keepers. I struggle with what to do with Jim. He's our 30 year old Tennessee Walker and he's in better shape than Bo, the 16 year old. I wouldn't say that Jim has had an easy life but a lot less stress than Bo's for sure. Both the farrier and the vet have been impressed by how he's aging.  Oh if only all of our seniors would age as gracefully as Jim.


Junior is doing ok. He's enjoying his nightly grain mix. I'm still trying to figure out if the balance of grains I gave him last year will work this year. He seems to be doing ok but I'm keeping a watchful eye on him.


Lace is picking up some weight as well now that I'm graining her. She seemed a tad thinner than I liked...not thin or anything but I like them going into winter fat. She's adamant about her grain these days and will demand she get fed. She's second in command so she'll wait for Junior to go into his stall before I feed her but she wont let Mayhem grab a bite. Smart girl.


The last few days have been crazy busy with non Sanctuary activities. I am hoping for a short period of quiet but with Christmas right around the corner, I don't see that happening. I forgot what it was like to be so excited for Christmas until this year. Five year olds make you excited for Christmas and are so enthusiastic for all the activities. So while we plug along at the paying job and the every day chores, we're throwing in a lot of Christmas activities. So if we aren't around, it's only because I'm buried up to my eyebrows with work and I want to give my attention to my kids during the holidays...not that I don't give them my attention but there's extra activities at this time of year.


I'm sure to write more later but if you don't see me until the end of the week, it's that we are buried and I'm getting prepared for an upcoming storm on Thursday. Winter will definitely be here. Ironic that on the official start of winter, we'll get a snowstorm.

Winter is Officially Here

I'm so glad I have a job that lets me work from home and that I had the good senses to stay home yesterday.


I was able to do a majority of my chores during my lunch break and that saved me lots of anxiety in getting chores done during the first winter storm of the season.


I watched the radar and watched out the window as I worked and at 3:30, it started to sleet. I'd already put a blanket on Junior while he ate his grain and put Bo in. Any wind that we get goes right up the driveway and right into Bo's pen. So instead he went into the barn where I thought it was snug.


Fast forward to when I could finally get out to do chores at 6pm. Boy howdy! I was sure glad that Bo was in the barn. By the time I got out, we had snow drifts in his pen and the wind was whipping the snow around so bad that it hurt when it hit your face.


I did end up putting Dude and Rain into the barn with Bo. I figured Rain wouldn't let me put a blanket on and if Dude was in the barn, then maybe others wouldn't have to crowd around the opening of the shed. Dude was standing guard and not letting anyone else in. That bugger.


This morning everyone was ready to get out and stretch their legs. I ended up putting Bo into the back pen because the wind was still hitting his pen. I'm not really sure what to do with him now. He wont' touch hay so I've been throwing him alfalfa. I'm not sure I can put him in the pen that he's in. I may switch and put the ponies where he is and put Bo where the ponies are but that's not a long term solution. I don't know. I guess we'll see. Bo had another off day yesterday where his breathing was labored. But that's for another post.


I'll leave you with some pictures of last night during chores and right as I was ready to be done for the night.

Dude happy to be in the barn

The view from the house as I was going in for the night. The yard light is where all the snow and wind goes when we have a snow storm.

The view somewhat close to the red shed and right in the middle of me doing chores

Rain happy to be in out of the elements

It's hard to tell but that's the pen Bo was in and that's exactly where all the wind goes. There's a snow drift in his pen now.

Bo Update

Fingers crossed that December is an easier month than November. I'm still reeling from November (and some of October). It's been a month since we found out that Bo's health issues are all due to heart failure and less than a month since losing Ivan to colic. And then there's the worry over Brego.

Even with death, life must continue but I've been struggling this month. Add to it that the paying job has me buried to my eyebrows in work that I can't keep up, I'm struggling. I've missed the mark on a number of activities and  I'm going to pay for it I'm afraid. And now that it's December and Christmas is right around the corner, there's more of my time taken to get everything ready. Although I do have to admit that I am back to enjoying Christmas. I forgot what excitement surrounds Christmas. My 5 year old is reminding me daily to enjoy the holidays. :-)

I'm not sure if I posted it before or not...everything has been a blur lately. On Saturday evening, we discovered that Bo had cut his right front leg open and it was deep. I called the vet right away to find out what to do. I didn't want to put any sprays on it in case I could haul him to the vet and get the wound stitched up. After taking pictures and videos we all surmised that the stitches would simply rip out so I was to treat it like an open wound. Wash and pack it with nitrofurizone. Well, I'm a weiny and couldn't pack it. I tried. So instead I did the spray method which seemed to do better because I could actually get the meds all the way into the cut. Bo has never offered to bit but with this wound, he's thought about it.

He's been on antibiotics since Sunday night and he's turning up his nose to the grain and meds. He's very picky about what he eats. I've even risked his ulcers and added senior grain just to try and get something into his body. I think the wound is healing nicely, for as deep as it is.

Bo is in a pen right next to the big herd so he can see everyone but not get pushed around. Wednesday morning I walked out and found Bo down. I paniced. In the 6 years we've had Bo, I have never seen him down. I sat next to him for awhile and he was struggling to breath. I thought maybe this was the end. He was feeling frustrated and tried to bite my foot. Not biting to be mean but that's his relief mechanism to bite (...it's more like cribbing but he doesn't actually crib unless he's trying to relieve stress. I saw it when my friend came out to do body work on him in early October. Keep in mind, Bo has never offered to kick, bite, or do anything mean to me...other than run me over to avoid getting hurt so I knew his biting my foot was the only solid material for him to put teeth to, to relieve stress). I put some straw around him but that must have annoyed him because he got up. Wednesday morning was a bad morning for Bo. His breathing was much more labored. I thought I was going to lose him but he pulled out of it. He's going to start having more bad days.  And when I say bad days, I mean not being able to breath. Having asthma, I know what it's like to not be able to breath. Probably why I have a fear of drowning, not the water but not being able to breath. So I wasn't sure what to do other than to leave food, water, and some grain and wait.

I'm not sure if he had a reaction to the banamine, or the antibiotics or if he was just having a bad day. By Wednesday night, he was better. We will have to take each day as it comes with Bo. I'm not ready to say goodbye and neither is he. But the cold weather is right around the corner and I don't want him to go down and struggle. So I evaluate him every morning and every night to see how he's doing.

He was mad at me yesterday and off his grain last night. I'd let him out to wander the yard and eat grass but had to put him back when I went to pick up the kids from daycare. I'm not sure if he's just sick of the uniprim powder in his grain or if he was off. But I threw some alfalfa for him to eat and in the morning it looked like he'd eaten everything. A good sign because he's been turning up his nose at the hay I've been throwing. I guess it's alfalfa and Ramona feed for him from now on.

I called the vet Monday morning after discovering an air pocket in his right wither. I thought it was just at the wither but I was wrong. It's his entire shoulder, from the wither all the way to the base of his leg and into his neck. When you pat his shoulder, it sounds hollow...it's the same sound as when you pat your dog's belly and it's empty. It's all poofy but it's not hard. I read up on it and I think it's benign. The vet wasn't worried. Give him banamine and let his body reabsorb it. The problem is, Bo's body is so compromised, I doubt it'll reabsorb. I guess we'll wait and see. It doesn't seem to bother him. And what's worse, I can't give him banamine. Anything oral that I have to administer and he' will try and stop me. For being sick and not feeling well, he still had enough strength to lift me off the ground and wrench my hand. So unless it's absolutely needed, I'm not going to give him any meds orally. Although, I did take it as a sign that he's feeling better. There's a definite will to live in that boy.

His right leg is swollen but that's to be expected with the cut. I was hoping that letting him out to wander the yard would take the swelling down what with him walking more. But that wasn't the case. I wont' put him back with the big herd because he still needs time to heal.

After we brought him home from the vet's to say he had heart failure, I noticed that his back legs had swollen. In fact his left rear had swollen before that so I was keeping an eye on him. But I guess that's just fluid all from the heart failure. It's something more to watch.

 

I've been keeping an eye on Brego as well. He doesn't seem as depressed but he does seem lost.

I caught Brego, Chaos, and Lightening all curled up this morning sleeping. Of course I had to ruin it when I went to get Bo's alfalfa. I'm glad they feel relaxed enough to sleep all curled up.

Oddly I'm making progress with Lightening without even trying to. He and I haven't clicked but that's no one's fault. There simply hasn't been any time to work with him. All the others, except Jim, come up to me or I can walk up to them to say hello. Lightening has to come up to me on his terms so I haven't been pushing the issue. We need to click if he's going to be my drill team horse. Slow and steady. Even if it takes a year to come down from a previous life, we'll give them all the time they need. But it's nice to see the slow progress finally coming to fruitation. Each has a history and a past that even though I might not know or figure out, I need to learn the quirks and know what they like, don't like, and what they can handle.

Perplexing Issues with Bo

When I went out to do chores last night, I noticed that Bo's leg was swollen. It's typical of a cut like he has. I'll be hand walking him tonight after I get home from the paying job. I'd also planned on giving him banamine to ease the pain in the huge cut. It's such an unfortunate location where stitches simply won't hold.


The problem is, last night I gave him a pat on his shoulders while he was eating and something didn't seem right. It sounded hollow. So I went around to the other side and patted his shoulder in the same spot. No hollow sound. Back to the right side and pat the shoulder. Hollow sound.


I called the vet this morning and we chatted for a  bit. It's hard to say what it is but I'm guessing its' part of heart failure. The cut on his leg wasn't a puncture wound and if it was, it didn't go into his shoulder, it went down his leg and not into his chest.


Bo is text book heart failure now that I look at him. Distended belly and the weight falls off the top line to see the spine. That's exactly what I've been seeing and dealing with all year. Along with that the labored breathing and that's exactly what Bo has.


But the air pocket in his shoulder is still a stumper. I'm guessing there was some air somewhere else and it just managed to bubble up to his withers. Because it's not causing him pain, we'll treat him with banamine for five days to make sure that it doesn't bother him. He's already on unimprim until Thursday for antibiotics. I may extend those antibiotics to the same time as the end of the banamine and we'll see what comes of it.


I wasn't exactly expecting a couple of huge vet bills but I should know better. It's been awhile and we always seem to get the vet bills around the end of the year.


Bo has been a trial and error experience from the day he stepped into our trailer off the auction. I'm glad that we have him but so worried that I'm not doing enough. I may have cared for horses for just over 20 years but it doesn't seem like my knowledge goes far enough for all that I've had to deal with in Bo.


Bo could really use some good thoughts and well wishes. He's also love visitors that bring him Ramona feed. He's not allowed to have any other type of grain because it would makes his ulcers flare up (yet one more thing to worry about with him).

Bo Update

What a blur the past few days have been. I hope everyone had a chance to enjoy their Thanksgiving. We spent some family quality time Thursday and Friday with my parents. The horses were content with new bales of hay so I know they were just as happy as me.


The weather has been absolutely beautiful the last few days. It's hard to believe that it's the end of November when the temps are in the 50s. After a stressful week at the paying job, it was nice to sit back and enjoy family and watch my kids play. Because it was so nice, we decided to take Saturday to simply relax and play at the park. Little did I know that I would return to an injured horse.


I have no idea how he did it, but Bo sliced his leg open. I have a theory on how. He'd only become injured if someone pushed him or if he felt cornered and he needed to move. I'm guessing that's what happened. But wouldn't you know, it was 5pm on a Saturday night when I discovered his injury. I knew something was wrong when he wasn't standing at the gate whinnying for me. When I saw him, he just stood there. Red flags going off! That's' when I noticed the huge cut on his upper right front leg. Bo masks his pain well so I knew he was  in a lot of pain.


I was able to get him into the barn and was on the phone right away to find out what to do. I was prepared to haul him to the vet but thank goodness for phones and text messages. After sending pictures and video, the vet concluded that the injury could not be stitched and it would have to be treated as an open wound. On the bright side of all of this, there are no flies to worry about.


I  washed out the wound, applied some nitrofurizone, gave him a dose of banamine, and left him in the barn with enough hay to keep him occupied until morning. In the morning, I let him out to wander the yard and he seemed like even though it hurt, he wasn't in as much pain. I couldn't coax him into taking his antibiotic Saturday night but I knew I'd have to get sneaky Sunday night.


I rearranged corral panels and put him into a pen close to the big herd. I don't want him to have to get chased around with an injured leg. He's close enough that he can still see and touch anyone. He wasn't too thrilled with me but I'd let him wander the yard all morning and half the afternoon so I'm sure he thought he should have been out longer.


Bo is a fantastic patient, except for giving him anything orally. Luckily the antibiotic is a powder so I can sneak it into his grain. I think he knows I'm trying to help but I feel bad that in trying to get the cut to heal, that I'm causing pain. I could never be a vet. Vets have stomachs and nerves of steel.


So for the next few days, Bo is going to be in a pen by himself so that he has time enough to recover and I can keep a close eye on his cut. My only fear is that this cut would cause undue stress on his already failing heart.


I thought he was doing ok but I'm not sure. Depending on which angle I look, he looks ok (not good but ok). If I look at him in another angle, he looks tough. He hasn't told me he is ready so I guess I wait. So stressful. Timing is everything and I want to make sure I do right by him. The world has handed him an unfair lot and I want to try to fix that as much as I can. The only problem is, how do I know when to let go? He has not told me he is ready. Even though I see days where he struggles, he hasn't given me the nod to say it's time. So I struggle and I worry every day.


But for now, we'll continue on as we have. He'll be in that pen for awhile until we both deem it ok for him to return to the big herd. I expect it'll be a week minimum before I put him back with the big herd. Oh the joys of horse ownership and care. They always seem to surprise you when you least expect it.

Penny checking Bo out. Bo was enjoying grazing while I set up his temporary pen

Penny supervising Bo eating his grain

Bo - He looks tough but we'll take each day as it comes

How can you resist that face?



Penny and Bo