Depression Watch

With Jessie gone, we've been keeping a very close eye on Diavlo. I have been worried sick about how Diavlo would take Jessie's passing. When we returned Friday evening with an empty trailer, Diavlo stood and watched that trailer, expecting Jessie to unload. I wish I could have told him so he'd understand. I have no idea if they understood that Jessie left this earth or if he thinks I was cruel and simply sent her away.


What I wasn't banking on was Mayhem. I should have realized that she too would slip into a mild depression as well. As herd mates, I didn't realize how bonded she was to Jessie. Of course, Jessie was the take charge kind of mare (although Diavlo seemed to be pretty bossy all winter). But without Jessie there to seek attention, Diavlo and Mayhem have been hanging out more without any fighting. With Jessie's passing, Diavlo and Mayhem are bonding. They don't seem to wander far from the gate or each other.


Before Jessie's passing, Mayhem and Diavlo wouldn't be seen 100 feet beside each other. Now, they are side by side and when one moves, the other one follows.


I know they are both dealing with the loss of Jessie and fighting their own depression. I know that Mayhem has lost a number of other herd mates over the years. Sadly, I was so wrapped up in my own world that I never noticed her depression. Diavlo's devotion to Jessie caused me to pay attention and now I realize that Mayhem has dealt with loss so much more than anyone else at the Sanctuary other than myself. Being such a young horse coming into the Sanctuary, she's had to deal with saying goodbye to so many of her herd. I do know Diavlo has had to say goodbye to three others of his little herd in the last year. He's the last remaining one from his herd.


We are keeping a close eye on both Diavlo and Mayhem. I continue to send the kids over to check on them and give them treats but even treats don't seem to brighten their day. It hasn't yet been three days of mourning but I believe that there will be weeks of depression that we will be dealing with for both Diavlo and Mayhem.


If only I could tell them that it'll be alight and I'm sorry for having to take their Jessie away.