Sam

Sam gave me the sign I've been looking for. It's not the sign I was hoping for but I have to listen to what he's telling me. I had hoped to wait on calling the vet to make that awful appointment. But tonight Sam told me he's ready.

I'd given Sam his nightly beet pulp (slightly frozen because I didn't bring it in overnight) and he didn't polish it off like he normally does. Not sure if it was because it was cold or because he's simply giving me that sign.

After rejecting most of his beet pulp with ulcer powder, I let Sam out of the barn. He promptly went out passed the horses and laid down. He rolled a little (I'm guessing to relieve the ulcer pains) and decided to lay prostrate on the ground. When I approached he curled up into as small of a ball as a draft horse can. He actually looked small that way.

I sat with him for a little bit, talking about nothing. He decided he wanted up so I moved out of the way. But when he went to rise, he couldn't get his back end under him. He was on a hill so I assume the incline was a large part of the problem. But it took him three times to stand. We have no snow. The minute there is snow, he'll not be able to rise on his own.

I will call the vet Monday morning to see when we can make it in. It's not a phone call I want to make, especially after just recently losing so many other family members. I knew it was coming but had hoped that Sam would be able to enjoy a little bit longer. I need to let him go but with all the losses we've had at Borderlands lately, one more blow is just that much more devastating.

This next week is going to be a solemn week at Borderlands. I will enjoy the few remaining days with Sam and then give him the dignified end that he deserves (as do they all deserve). He will be surrounded by loved ones and will be greatly missed. If I don't post much in the next week, it's simply me trying to spend as much time as possible with Sam before I say goodbye.

As the hustle and bustle continues for this Christmas, remember the true meaning of Christmas and keep close those that you hold dear. Tell and show them that you love them. Time is precious.