What Ivan and Bo Taught Me

I want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and moral support after Ivan's passing.


I am no stranger to death. Running a Sanctuary for old horses means I am ever watchful of the day we need to say goodbye to one of our loved ones. It's only those that leave this world so suddenly that I am left in shock. I have spent the last few days quietly mourning Ivan's passing and getting back to the old routine. Life continues even in death.


I have run through all the scenarios: what-ifs, what should I have done differently, what did I do wrong. In the end,  it's the same conclusion. Ivan is gone and we must move on.


I am keeping a watchful eye on Brego. He, like me, is in mourning. Unlike myself, Brego lost his best friend, his sidekick, his companion. He is depressed and I worry for him. I worry for him like I worry for my own children. I can't explain to him that Ivan left this world. I can't explain to him that in time, he too will adjust to this change. I cant' explain. So instead, I spend a few extra minutes with him in this very crazy schedule called life and I hope and wish that he can bounce back.


Brego has now lost two best friends in the time that he's lived at the Sanctuary. His first best friend was Sam who we lost a few years ago to old age and ulcers. And now Ivan. How can I explain to him? How can I make him feel better? Only time will tell.


As I mourn for Ivan's passing, I also mourn for Bo's upcoming passing. I am keeping a watchful eye on Bo but I can tell that I am going to have to let him go soon as well. The thought breaks my heart. When the cold spell came, I put a blanket on Bo to ensure he stayed warm and spent his energy trying to maintain what little weight he had to keep comfortable. It's not doing any good. Bo is slowly losing weight. My brain is the logical one telling me to make a phone call now before the snow flies. My heart is holding on and can't bare to say goodbye. It's not even the passing of Ivan that is keeping me from making that dreaded phone call. It's knowing that he, like Ivan, is so very young. That life has handed him every shortcoming imaginable. Yet, instead of holding a grudge to all that has happened, we should take a page from Bo's Book of Life.         Be Happy.         Enjoy the good moments. They will outlast the bad moments. Surround yourself with those that you love and simply be (and preferably be happy in being). Bo is a wonder that I cannot explain. In all that has happened to him, he is still the happy horse. So making a phone call to say that he needs to leave this world is very difficult.


So instead I sit and worry. I mourn for Ivan's passing, I worry for Brego's depression, and I stress over Bo's impending departure from this world. I am simply taking each day as they come.


Ivan's passing is a good reminder. Never take anyone for granted. With the old horses, I know their time will near and I keep a watchful eye on them knowing that their time on this earth is limited. The younger horses (those that came to the Sanctuary before we set criteria on who could come in), are not on my radar. Yet, I sometimes take their presence for granted, as I do with others.


It is a reminder that you should live your life to the fullest. Being a socially awkward introvert, its' hard to be the one living it up at a party or making the most of every day. But I need to remember to appreciate the little things in life, those that are in my life and to recognize them for being a part of my life. It's a lesson I hadn't thought a young horse like Ivan could teach me.


Thank you Ivan for being the stubborn Thoroughbred and reminding me to appreciate all those that surround me in life. Life is a precious gift. Until we meet again...

Goodby Ivan

We lost Ivan last night.


My heart is broken. I can't understand how he could have left. He was young and one of the healthy ones.


I am struggling and running through all the scenarios to figure out what I did wrong. I messed up somewhere. He should be standing at a bale next to his best friend.


Ivan coliced Saturday. We had the vet out Sunday morning to tube and oil him, with minimal improvements.


I stalled him and I think that's my mistake. When I went to check on him Sunday night, he'd cast himself in the stall. They arent' perfect stalls but they work. But I should have given him the entire barn and not just a stall or sent him outside.


Either he hit his head while he was trying to get up or while he was down and rolling, he twisted his gut and threw a blood clot. Either way, he had serious neurological problems. There was no chance of recovery and this was confirmed by two vets.


It's my fault. If only...

I will not be online much this week. I am too heartsick over what happened. Maybe after the shock has worn off but for now...I can't breath let alone speak.

Thankful - Day 3

Facebook reminded me that last year on this day while doing the Thankful challenge, that I was happy for no wind while feeding hay.

I'll have to echo last year's sentiments. I am thankful for no wind. We've had lots of wind lately and it's nice to have a few calm nights and mornings!

It makes everyone happier.

Junior enjoying supper

Lace enjoying her snack

Thankful - Day 2

Thankful Day 2
I am thankful for happy horses, happy kids, and happy dogs.

Happy Halloween

Hope you all had a safe and Happy Halloween!

Bo (trying to be scary)

Thankful - Day 1

A few years back there was a game on Facebook in Novembers to say what you are thankful for. My sister is still, years later doing the Thankful game on Facebook. It's neat to see and it does make you step back and appreciate what you have.


So I'm going to spend November showcasing everything I am thankful for!


November 1:
I am thankful for a brand new automatic waterer (and that it was installed in quick order!)

Brego checking out the waterer

Brand New Ritchie Waterer!

Last year our automatic waterer started giving us problems. The latch broke and that caused a full array of problems to follow. In the end, it  meant needing a new Ritchie waterer. Through two VERY GENEROUS donations we were able to have our new automatic waterer installed before it got really cold.

Thank you to Jennifer G through Thrivent Financial and to an anonymous donor through Fidelity Charity, we were able to buy our automatic waterer through Sioux Nation out of Sioux Falls. Sioux Nation cut us a deal because we are a 501(c)3 non-profit. All such amazing blessings. I am so grateful and thankful to everyone's generous donations. A simple thank you doesn't seem like it's enough but it's what I can offer. I woke up this morning feeling relieved and I didn't know why. But I thought about it while I got ready for work and I figured it out. I wasn't stressed because of you! By your generous donations and by getting the automatic waterer installed, I dont' feel that pressure any more so from the bottom of my heart, Thank You!

I didn't get out right away to take pictures but when I did, I saw Mike drilling into the concrete. I got a little nervous. We did fill a 100 gallon tank in case it all went bad. One week after buying the automatic waterer, we had PeteCompany contact us saying they could also sell us an automatic waterer at a discount. They have 40 years of experience installing Ritchies so I knew if all went poorly, I could call them up and ask for help! Thank you PeteCo. (And no I'm not getting paid for saying their company name but I do like to help out small businesses and they are just getting started, so check them out!)

After a little bit, Mike and Dad got the waterer installed onto the original slab we'd poured back in 2007. Hard to believe we had water problems back in 2007, I thought it was just a few years ago, not 10 years ago! Here Mike is wiring the waterer.

The following picture is a comparison of the two waterers. The new one is so nice and shiny! It's smaller and has only one water bowl where the other one had two but the new one should hopefully be less expensive to run.

So shiny! I'm excited.

The horses weren't so sure about the new waterer. They instead drank out of the water tank (it's behind Brego in this picture). There is a black bungee on just to make sure that the lid stays on. We'll have to come up with something a bit more permanent. The lid just rests on it and with Maverick, we didn't want to take any chances. Maverick will undoubtedly pop the top off and destroy this one of we dont' take precautions.  I am NOT about to have to go through another ordeal like we did last winter!

You can see in the picture the difference in size. The original one covered the entire concrete slab and the pink foam board was the same size. Definitely a difference. I'm not sure we'll try to insulate this one like we did the other one. We get wind from the east so I'd like to cover it but it's too pretty. I think with the board on the back, w'ell be ok. We put that up to help cut down on the wind that rolls up the driveway and slams into the cattle chute and automatic waterer.

We are so thankful and blessed to have such great followers and donors. We couldn't do this without you!

Thank You!!