Happy Birthday Mayhem

Happy Birthday Mayhem!

I can't believe that another year has gone by (and you still hasnt' been to a trainer). You sure have changed over the past few years. You've gone from a scrappy little filly to a beautiful and very stunning mare.

I remember the day you stepped off the trailer in September six years ago as a three month old. I just wish life hadn't gotten in the way so you wouldn't have been put on the back burner. Even though life has handed you a few hard knocks, you don't seem to let that bother you at all.

I'm glad you were born a sorrel and are now a part of our Sanctuary.

Mayhem is the spitting image of her mother, Rabbit. She is also really good at keeping the older mares on their toes and making them feel spry and useful. Lace has finally taken a liking to Mayhem. It only took almost six months for Lace to mellow out and enjoy Mayhem's company. Mayhem would prefer to be with her boyfriend but for now, she is next to Lace. Where one goes, the other follows. Crazy how friendshisp are made.

Stressing

So, I'm stressing. There's too much to do and no time to get it all done. The people I depend on are just as busy and don't have time now to help me out. So I'm left doing everything single handedly.


I'm exhausted. I'm stressed. I'm almost passed my breaking point. I know people will tell me to give something up but what?


I'm on a drill team and I've come to the conclusion that Zeke needs to be retired. I knew that he needed to be but after the last few practices, he for sure needs to be retired. He IS 24 years old and keeping up with all the younger horses. But when I mention I don't have anyone else to ride for next year, except Maverick or Chaos and they need too much work, I get told, "you just need to work with them". Yes, yes I know that but WHEN?! I barely have time to get the little stuff done, let alone get anything big done. All of my projects are sitting, waiting for me to work on them.


So, you tell me...where do I fit in anything extra (like trying to get a horse ready for drill team)?


5:20am - Alarm goes off and I hit snooze
5:30am - Roll out of bed, get ready for work, do chores, get everyone else ready for the day (clothes, meals, etc.)
6:15am - Leave for work
7:00am - At work
3:30pm - Leave work
4:15pm - Pick up kids from daycare
4:50pm - Get home
5:30pm(ish) - Start making supper
6:30pm(ish) - Sit down for supper
7:00pm(ish) - Kids get baths
8:00pm (ish) - Read stories and put kids to bed (if Leila wants to go to bed). At this point, we are sometimes still giving baths. It all depends on if the kids want to play outside so we can get a few things done or if they kids are super tired and want to stay inside. The time between starting to make supper and kids going down is from 5:30pm to 8:30pm. My son doesn't like being alone, so I try to stay with him for a little while. But the kid has staying power and doesn't fall asleep easily (neither of my children do).
9:00pm - Start chores
10:00pm - Done with chores (depending on what needs to be done, it sometimes takes longer, sometimes is shorter but either way, I'm usually out for an hour and ALWAYS am in the dark)
10:00pm - Take shower (now in a camper, which doesn't have the greatest water heater) and get ready for bed
10:30pm - Go to bed
2:30am(ish) - Sometime in the night, wake up. If I'm watching Leila that night, wake up when she wakes up and feed her and try to get her back to sleep. Sometimes I'm up for a half an hour. Sometimes I'm up for an hour. It all depends on her. I typically get about 6 hours of sleep ( I NEED eight).


Then do it all over again.


So, did you find time for me to work with a horse? Oh sure if I want everything to go to hell I could probably squeeze in some riding while doing chores. Or I could give up the three hours I have with my kids to go ride. But I see my kids three hours a day. Three. Three stinking hours. That's it. From the time I pick them up at daycare to when they fall asleep. That's the only time I have with them. I already give up my time with them to make supper and pick up the house (well not really but make a path so we can walk). I don't want to miss much more. Anyone with a baby will understand that. Leila is only 9 months old. That first year flies by.


So, I'm struggling. I'm stressing. I'm exhausted. I need people to understand that. I need people to help me out. I need people to encourage me, not knock me down for my worries.


And soon, I need to prepare for the "asking" season. It'll be here in another month or so. Will you take my horse, I can't afford it. Right now I'm looking at trying to pay for last year's hay AND this year's hay. I haven't figured out how to make it happen. So, more stress. If the weather continues as it is, I'll be out of pastures sooner than I want. More stress. The fences are starting to go to hell in a handbasket (I've already had two loose horses in one pasture). How do I find time to get fencing done?


We have enough stress to go around. Anyone want to take some of mine?

Ugh

Let me put the last few weeks, and more so the last few days into one word......




UGH


I know that I'm a sanctuary and with that comes drama. Surprisingly, there's no drama on that end. Everywhere else...(insert voice from the gal on How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days....drama, drama, drama).


That seems to be my life these days. I don't do well with change or drama or any upheaval of any kind. Extensive drama at work, and a few activities outside of work, a bathroom with only a functioning toilet and nothing else, showers in a tin can camper, a hole in my bathroom wall, a floor that isn't finished, hospital stay for my baby girl, getting sick and spending time on said unfinished floor/remodel-in-progress bathroom, high heat, storms, and loose horses.


I am close to tears.


I gave up the idea of dividing the pasture and just locking them in. Except the gate broke and I had to fix it with twin. Well apparently Dude decided to take the gate down and take a couple horses with him. The good horses stayed in the pen while the others didn't. So I had to get the gate propped back up, untie some of my latches, and get the rest of the herd out this morning. Not what I was expecting.


On Sunday I caught the flu that's been going around. I stepped outside and got sick. When I'd recovered my senses, I heard a horse whinny. That's never a good sign...because it usually means a horse is not where it should be. Yup, Junior had somehow managed to get out of the pasture. He's the second horse to escape that pasture. Bo had escaped over Memorial Weekend. So I heard Junior running through the corn field (don't tell the farmer). I hollered for him (but not much because I was light headed). I heard/saw some rustling in the trees and called for him again. I was about to climb the gate to investigate the pasture when Junior popped out of the trees and into the lawn.


So now Junior is in with the big herd (much to his dismay and Rabbits). Rabbit hasn't figured out where the hole is (neither have I and I walked it last night). I need to move Rabbit anyway. Lace and Mayhem don't have any more grass in their temporary pasture so I need to move corral panels around and get them moved before the weekend.


Unfortunatley I'm gone most of this weekend and when I am home, I'll be doing skirt work. Because in the process of the remodel, the plumber kindly cut the hot water to the wash machine. Ergo, I have no wash machine to wash clothes...and I have puky clothes to take care. I am not a happy camper.


There's more to tell to my story but none of it is horse related so I'll spare you the details. Life just doesnt' seem to be getting easier like I thought. The paying job is not going great either so that adds even more stress. I mentioned to a friend that it would be nice to run away. The promptly reminded me that when I would return from running away, that it would all still be here waiting for me to pick up the pieces. She stole my thunder...because she's right. sigh


I'm ready to sit down and cry. In fact, I'm doing everything in my power not to just bawl right now (only because I'm at the paying job and in the library am I not able to..but shhhh don't tell anyone).


so for now, if you dont' see me or see much activity, it's because I'm trying to keep from going completely insane with all the stuff going on. I'm still here, just being crabby and grumpy.

Speaking Nonsense

Just a heads up....this post doesn't make any sense. It didn't go where I thought it would. It's mostly me complaining so just ignore it and wait for something better and more entertaining to read. :-)
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I was watching an episode of Heartland (yes I'm a Heartland addict), and they touched on something that has been on my mind before. This has nothing to do with the tragedies of late but rather in general.


Why do people become so wrapped up in worries over things that they have no control over, or worries over petty things when real worries such as life and death are at stake?  I seem to be struggling to put my thoughts into words.


I had the same thought last year while watching high dollar horses perform at a very prestigious horse show and yet on my laptop, I was reading and viewing pictures of horses standing in a kill pen waiting their turn to be loaded. What makes one horse more valuable over another? One of those fancy high-dollar horses could very well have been in that kill pen and a horse having been in the kill pen could very well end up in a very prestigious horse show. It's possible. But it's hard to take. All the glitz and glam of one with no regard for the blood, bruises, and beatings of the other.


I know I'm not making sense. I have been treading water lately but seem to be sinking below the surface. Every once in a while I will get a surge and get one big breath of air and then sink back down below the water. I'm not sure how to keep moving forward.


Everything will be fine soon. It's just that my life is in a state of upheaval. Remodeling a house (and negotiating with people to get the work done when you can't do it yourself), getting the horses out on grass (it's MID JUNE and they STILL aren't on grass!), tackling all the summer tasks that need to get done before winter arrives (yes I'm already thinking winter), etc. Its' never ending. I know, create a list and start on it.


But I could really use some encouragement. I've gotten so far behind, I haven't even posted any Wishlist Wednesdays. My wishlist never ceases; it just keeps getting bigger but I can't seem to find the time to sit and get that done.


I am hoping that after this month, I'll be able to breath a little easier but that all depends on if the horses get out on pasture, how much rain we get, if I can get any funds together to pay for hay (for last year), see where the remodel job is, and start working on fixing all the stuff that keeps breaking.


So I know this post went a totally different turn (they usually do), but I guess I just wanted to let you all know that we are here and I'm just a bit too off these days to post much. Hopefully I'll be able to get into the swing of things again shortly and stop posting weird and rambling posts.

Down and Out

I'm going to be down and out the next couple of days. I didn't even DO anything yesterday. I let Mayhem and Lace out on the lawn to graze overnight, thinking that they could stay there for the day...nope. They went after the lone round bale I have left... so instead we'll put the round bale in, search for more round bales (and money to pay for them). I put the mares back this morning after a painful night with little sleep.


I didn't do anything else yesterday other than fill a water tank for the mares (which they didn't touch). But by 9:30 last night I couldn't use my left arm. I think I pinched a nerve. I have limited use of it right now and don't dare pick anything up.


I pinched a nerve in my arm/shoulder a couple of years ago and it took months to heal. It's the same type of pain but in the other shoulder/arm. So I guess we'll see. There's no corral panel moving for me. In fact, I'm supposed to have drill team practice tonight but I'll need someone to throw the saddle on Zeke. Not sure if I'll be able to handle the bouncing or not, but we'll see. I had plans on getting other stuff done but it looks like everything is going to be at a standstill until I either figure out what's wrong and get it fixed or just ride it out.


This getting old stuff is for the birds.

Still Kicking

We are here. Super crazy busy but we are still here. Trying to figure out how to juggle everything going on and I don't seem to be doing a good job of it. The paying jobs are keeping me hopping so I have a limited amount of time to post or keep everyone up-to-date.


I'll try to get everyone caught up on what we are doing (not much other than keeping our heads above water).


More to come when I need to take a breather.

What Day Is It!?

Seriously?! What day is it? I lost this entire week! The paying job has me hopping. Of course the three day weekend made me lose track of more time.

I'm not even sure what to talk about. Brain is sort of fried after this week's work. I did get Lace and Mayhem out on the lawn pasture.

I'd let the big herd out in the middle of the day yesterday (was working from home at the paying job). When I came back from picking up the kids, the ENTIRE herd was missing. I checked the panels and everything was exactly as it had been. I had to investigate. Everyone was in the leanto off the barn. I was almost in panic mode. With Bo not in the big herd, Zeke actually hangs out more in the barn.

Bo is still with Junior and Rabbit. I hate to admit it but I haven't really seen them much. They seem to hide in their pasture even though it's fairly small. Zeke seems a little lost but I think Bo is hanging close to Junior and Rabbit. I will have to spend some time with them this weekend.

We are working on the place this weekend. We still need to divide the big pasture. I'm not sure if we'll get that done this weekend or not. If not, I'll be working on it during the week. The problem is the horses fried my solar fencer. So now I have to see if the electric fencer will work. And if it does work, I'll have to restring the electric from the red shed to the pasture. The previous owners had done just that but instead of doing it right, they let it hang. So now I have to figure out how to rehang the electric fence and get it across the little hill pasture without the mares interfering with it (when I finally put them in that pasture). We stopped using that electric fencer because it stopped thumping as loud. I was thinking it didn't work as well but I guess I'll find out soon enough. If not, I'll  have to pony up and buy yet another fencer. Those things are expensive. Anyone want to donate towards a new solar fencer? They run about $300.

Speaking of expensive. I ordered Rabbit a four pound container of Vitamin E and Selenum. The Dumor Gold supplement she was on wasnt' cutting it. The powder she was on did a lot more help. So we'll try it again and see how it goes.  There was one more alternative but I didn't like it. Giving Rabbit shots but the shots are in short supply and it would be $150 a short and we'd be giving shots for god knows how long. So instead I opted for the powder and we'll go from there. Anyone want to be Rabbit's sponsor? The powder is $40 per container.

And because I haven't posted in a long time, here are a few pictures from last fall. Yes, I am that far behind I'm still using old pictures. Anyone want to come out and photograph the herd so I have more pictures to choose from? :-)

Chaos with Dude in the background

Chaos

Ivan and Bo (Ivan torments Bo all the time)

Chaos's legs with Dude in the background. Not sure who the other one is. Eyes are failing me today.