Losing Junior

We’re going to lose Junior.

I’m not sure exactly when but it’ll be sooner than I thought. I’m guessing by the end of the month we’ll have to say goodbye. I am cursed with bays. Junior is the last of the super hard keepers. I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself once all the hard keepers are gone. Bo and Junior have been my hard keepers for the past few years and now there won’t be anyone nearly as hard keepers as those two.

I hauled them to their “summer retreat” the first of June in hopes that Junior and Lace would pack on the pounds. With 24x7 pasture and grain, I had hoped they’d put on weight. They’d have the same here but usually they do better in their summer retreat but not this year.

I have been checking on Junior on a regular basis and he continues to lose weight. It’s not for lack of care or feed or trying. He’s simply no longer able to maintain what little weight he has. He was always a hard keeper. From the get go in November 2014, he was tough to put weight on. Only one winter were we able to put weight on and that was a mix of amazing hay/alfalfa, grain, and a ton of blankets.

I havent’ scheduled the appointment because I havent’ been around him enough to know if he’s given me a sign. I think he has and I’ve ignored it. He’s not a touchy feely horse and the last time I was up there, he put his head into my chest. That’s definitely a sign but I’m still ignoring it.

I am sad to see him leave this world but in truth, when he came to us in November 2014 at the age of 26, I didn’t think he’d last more than a year or two. In fact, he’s lasted until the ripe age of 30. He’s lived a life of luxury since coming to the Sanctuary. No work, no demands, just a couple of mares to keep him happy and away from the commotion of the big herd. He’s never liked big crowds so we always kept him with the mares. Mayhem will be devastated but she’ll adjust just as she had to when she lost her mother, Rabbit May 2017.

That’s the hard part of having young-ish horses. They get attached to older horses and when they leave this world, they leave a whole in the herd and in the hearts of everyone at the Sanctuary (both two-legged and four-legged).

I’m coming to terms with losing Junior but it still stinks. I can only imagine that in his younger years he was an amazing horse and riding partner. He’s been a fantastic horse at the Sanctuary. No real demands but he’ll watch you like a fox when it’s time for his grain. There are very few who could love their grain more than Junior.

I haven’t called the vet yet because I don’t want to hear what they have to say. With it being only a few months where the rendering trucks refuse to take horses euthanized with the chemical, I doubt that anything has been resolved. I had hoped that Junior would at least last until fall so we could bury him out back in the field but that isn’t going to happen. I am guessing that we will still need to find a place to bury him on the old farm place and have to call in a favor to have his body taken care of. We will use the chemical to euthanize as I don’t see shooting him as the respectful way to end his life on this earth. He deserves a better end. I haven’t called because it’ll mean calling for favors to take care of his body. I struggle with that part of death. I’m there until the last breath (and even afterwards) but I can’t be there for the removal. But now I’m going to have to figure out what to do with him afterwards. I guess that’s just how things will be for the Sanctuary until something is figured out.

I’m sure I’ll continue to talk about Junior these next few days but his leaving is weight heavily on my mind these days.

Pictures are from last spring after coming out of winter looking fantastic.