Quiet Time

You may have noticed that I've been a bit more quiet this month. I am trying to do more on Facebook but even that is lacking right now. My mind is elsewhere. It's actually being torn in a number of directions.


First and foremost, making sure the horses have hay. We had a semi load of hay delivered Friday at noon. It's great having 30 bales but we still need to pick up the other smaller bales and I'm still worried it's not enough for our current herd and there's NO WAY we can bring in another horse and that REALLY REALLY bothers me. In about another week, we'll be seeing horses, good horses, loyal horses up for sale by no fault of their own and that bothers me. These are the tried and true horses that are worth their weight in gold and yet with the hay issues around here and with people getting out of horses in general, I'm worried. So many more start to flood the market this time of year. And it makes me physically sick.


But August also drives me almost to the point of insane. This is when I realize summer is almost over and we're headed into fall and I need to be focusing on tasks at hand so we dont' have to deal with stuff during the winter months. All these odd projects that HAVE to be done before the snow flies. Every time I open the door and hear the katydids singing, I feel like they are mocking me or sending me some warning that fall is almost here and winter is around the corner.


I went for a walk at the paying job to get some fresh air and it's like I couldnt' breath. It's all stress and it's all self induced stress worrying about things that I have no control over. I need to remember to take one day at a time and just live. But it's hard when you're in charge of horses and worry about their care.


On the bright side, and where most of my attention has been, is that August is also my son and daughter's birthdays! My son just turned 5 on Saturday and my daughter will turn 2 in two weeks. So I'm trying to figure out presents and parties and all that stuff. It's more activities added to the already busy schedule. But I want to make sure that my kids get the full attention that the need and deserve and right now they seem to be needing more of my time.


I could really use the help though. If anyone knows marketing or accounting or anything business-y-ish, I could really use some guidance. All the information is up in my head but I need to figure out how to get it onto paper and into motion. I had the terrible thought today that maybe I should just let it all go.  Let everything dissolve and just be worried about myself. Yes I was (and still sort of am) riding the pity party. But it was a fleeting thought and I KNOW that I couldn't live with myself to not do more with what I have. So I'll keep plugging along.  But I may stay quiet this month. Trying to focus on the kids and not become too overwhelmed with all that HAS to get done and what SHOULD get done before the first snow flies.