Life is Cruel

Sometimes no news is better than good news. Rabbit has two options at the moment.

Option 1: We can take her in and do a muscle biopsy and have the biopsy sent to Iowa State. The vet wouldn't even give us an estimate on how much this procedure would cost. And even if we did get results, there's no saying that there is a cure for what is going on.

Option 2: euthanasia. She's already on Equi-Seq (vitamin E supplement) and buteless. Both supplements are helping but not enough to keep Rabbit comfortable where she can stand without pain.

I know some would be mad for me even considering euthanasia but also consider the following facts:

* She has heaves all year round.

* She has summer time allergies which makes her breathing even more labored.

* She has uveitis in the summer/fall months.

* She's 25 years old (not saying that 25 is old but I'm not willing to make her go through extensive tests just to prolong her life for a few months)

So I have to make a very tough decision. Quality of life is most important. But also, I cannot sacrifice the well-being of the others for Rabbit. If I spend all our funds on tests, etc. there wont' be enough for the rest of the horses. I know I will get blasted by some for saying such things. That considering euthanasia is the cheap/chicken way out. I should have funds set aside for this type of stuff. But we are small, and we really are focused on quality of life. And this Sanctuary is focused on old horses. And we have to let those old horses go at some point.

I always struggle with making these decisions. It's easier when you can see the weight loss and know when it's time. But the ones with pain management are more difficult. When is the pain too much? Are they still comfortable, manageable? What is their quality of life?

This is the part of Sanctuary I hate. Trying to decide what is in the best interest of the horse for quality of life. It's playing God and not knowing if you're making the right decision or not. It's all the what-ifs that pile up and make you cry at night. 

Life is cruel some days.