Sightings

I stepped outside this morning at 5:30am. The sky was filled with stars and Tommy let out a whinny to say he was ready for his breakfast. As I looked over to the barn to see if anyone from the big herd was standing their patiently waiting for their morning grain, I saw Sam, the Belgian. I knew it couldn’t be but he was there.

I’ve had it happen before. It seems to happen more often now than ever before. I guess it’s due to the number of losses we’ve had over the past few years. A quick glance turns one horse into another horse. It always causes me to do a double take because I know my eyes are deceiving me. It’s simply my brain registering what used to be rather than what really is.

What I saw this morning was a combination of King and Dude in the yard light reflection. I’d seen a two-toned horse. With the light shining the way it did and the combination of how King and Dude we standing made it look like Sam was still with us. It’s hard to believe that today marks the one month passing of Sam. I didn’t realize it until just now. Maybe that’s why I thought I saw him this morning. I never did see a sign for Sam when he crossed over, not like I did for Dick the Percheron we lost back in August (when I saw a shooting star that night). Maybe Sam was giving me a sign, I don’t know.

I’ve had the same double take happen a few other times. Earlier this summer I was in the blind pen and I happened to glance up and see my very first horse, Tiny Dictator. I did a double take. Of course it wasn’t Dictator, it was Ivan. If Ivan were to sport a star and a huge snip, along with two hind white socks and a brand, they’d be spitting images of each other. Oh sure, the body shapes are a little different but it’s still fairly the same.

Same goes for Maverick. I’d taken a picture of Maverick at a weird angle. When I was flipping through the photos, I thought it was my beloved Arabian, Ace. Again, I had to do a double take, almost the exact same coloring and almost the exact same stripe. Maverick’s is a little straighter than Ace’s was. Ace also had a little white on his back leg which made his hoof a different color. But at a quick glance, my heart skipped a beat.

The double takes also happen with the dogs. We lost an amazing dog a few years back on Christmas day. Knowing Farley couldn’t be alone, we went to the Humane Society and adopted Gypsy. She has very similar markings to our beloved LeRoy. I guess I have a thing for black and tan dogs. I was cleaning the stalls in the barn and looked up to see LeRoy standing in the doorway. Again, I did a double take. Of course it wasn’t LeRoy, he’d been gone for a few months. It was Gypsy checking out my progress and doing her imitation of supervising.

It’s those quick glances that sometimes make my heart skip a beat. It’s those fleeting images that make me remember those that have gone before us. The other day I was thinking about one my fears. I know, it’s silly. But one of my fears is being forgotten. What will happen when I am gone? Who will remember me? But then a very calming thought came over me. It won’t matter who remembers me on earth, because I will (hopefully) be greeted by all the wonderful animals and people that have gone before me. It’s a little hard to explain; my logic doesn’t always make sense once I type it out.

I’m taking the “Sam Sighting” as a sign that Sam has settled in to Heaven and that he’s found all his friends that have gone before him. It is never easy saying goodbye but knowing that we were able to give them a safe home, love, and a dignified passing is all that I can ask for in life. I only wish that we had the capacity to do the same for more. I’ll be thinking of Sam today.