Disturbing Thoughts

We have returned to chores in the dark, much to my dismay. I've been mulling over a thought that deeply disturbs me. I'm sure that I've talked about it in the past but the thought still disturbs me.

I am a flight animal. I'll flee before I fight but corner me and I'll fight. So in the dark that is before dawn I putter to do morning chores. The animals of the night are still wandering. On occassion I'll be out and have the hair on the back of my neck stand up or have tingles race through my entire body because I know there is something out there (but very near to me). It's usually just a racoon or some other type of varmit. It's always the unknown that spooks me.

The thought that disturbs me is that I can always run away from these feelings, knowing that I'm being silly (beause it's usually just a varmit). There's the safety of the house not too far away.

The fear is real but so is the safety and comfort. But I keep thinking of the horses standing in the slaughter pipeline with nowhere to run, no where to flee. I can't imagine what type of sensory overload they are going through. There is no safety, no comfort. How petrified they must be; how betrayed they must feel.

Silly things like shadows in the dark spook me and they aren't real fears. I cannot fathom the pure terror these horses are going through. There is no where for them to go, no one to comfort them, there is only death. I can't quite explain the disturbing feeling well enough. I doubt that I ever will. For those that believe in slaughter, I would like to put them into the most terrifying situation and see how they react. It's simply a disturbing thought that I can never shake nor can I fully explain the depth of my thoughts. Perhaps I'll spend some downtime to try and explain it better some day. I know this post doesn't make sense and I wish I could put into words the feelings I have. But the thought that even though I may be spooked, I still have the comfort of "home" where horses standing in the slaughter feedlots/pipleine do not have that comfort. Each morning that disturbing thought flitters through my mind and there is sorrow in my heart for those lives lost to a cruel fate. But the only way to stop slaughter is to stop over breeding. So the next time you are out with your horses in the predawn light, give them a hug for me.