Dilema w/ Brego

Brego's 45 days were nearing the end so I called the trainer to see how he was doing. At 30 days Brego was going but not well. He could walk and trot but he still had a lot of issues.

At the very end of the 45 days, the trainer called and told me that he had taken Brego out into the pasture to ride at a walk. They crossed a creek (but had to do a training session since he had issues) and had some issues with crossing a cow path. But everything seemed like it was going well. When they got back into the arena, Brego listened even better.

The trainer called me yesterday since Tuesday was Brego's last day of the 45 days. He flat out told me Brego is unsafe to ride. They had a total wreck Tuesday, luckily neither were hurt but the trainer doesn't feel that Brego will ever be rideable. If he, as the trainer, is uncomfortable riding Brego, he knows there's no way I'll be comfortable (or safe) riding Brego.

Brego went psycho and crashed through 6ft corral panels and at one point tried to jump through more ft corral panels. I didn't completely understand everything the trainer was telling me since it's a new facility that he moved to so I'm not familiar with the locations he was talking about. He did say that at one point, he (the trainer) jumped off Brego's back onto corral panels because he thought Brego was going to complete explode. My only concern was that the trainer stay safe.

The trainer proceeded to tell me that if I wanted, he would not charge me for the last 15 days and that he would take the horse to a sale for free. I don't think that's right. If the trainer is not willing to ride him, and won't let me ride him (which I don't want to after hearing his story), how could I ever subject some one else to Brego's psychotic episodes. I can't, in good standing, send Brego to an auction where at some point he'll hurt someone. Brego would then go to another sale and another sale and another sale until the kill buyer bought him.

The trainer told me there's only two horses he was never able to train. Brego is that second horse.

There's no way for me to recoup the cost of training on Brego. I gave him the chance and he screwed it up. The trainer said Brego would be a good pasture pet. But can I really afford yet another pasture pet? I already have three (Queen, Babe, and Dude). If I keep Brego as a pasture pet only, I'll have him as a pasture pet for the next 20 plus years. Is it really feasible to keep a "useless" horse for the next 20 years, knowing that he's taking up space for an older horse that needs to be pulled from auction and given the last few years of retirement?

Is it fair that I would keep Brego thinking that no one else would want a pasture pet? What happens though if he starts to get naughty because all he is, is a pasture pet so I don't work with him as much? Would someone simply WANT a 5yr old pasture pet?

The only other option that I'm faced with is euthinasia. It's the last resort. I can't sell him or give him away to someone because he will at some point, be traded around from one person to the next and he'll end up hurting someone. And when that final blowout occurs, he'll be shipped off to slaughter. I can't afford to keep him as a pasture pet for the next 20 years because he'll take up space to pull oldsters that deserve to retire after a long life of hard work. So euthinasia might be my only option.

But then I'm euthinizing a good horse (although mentally unstable). He has good ground manners (for now). But if I euthinize, I'm going to throw away $550+ in training (even though the trainer told me to never get on Brego). If I euthinize, it's more money spent on an unsafe, useless horse. I can either take him to the vet and have him put down there and have the rendering truck get him. I can have the vet come out and euthinize and I can have the rendering truck come get him at the house. Or I can euthinize him at home and bury him in the hole out back. I'll have to empty the hole full of water and rush to bury him before the hole fills back full of water. No matter the option, it's still more $$ I hadn't figured on.

But if I keep him and put him back into the herd, he'll be eating up my resources. But Sam would be happy again. I don't want to break Sam's heart but I'm not sure what to do.

It seems I've lost on most of the rescues lately. Apparently there are only so many "diamonds in the rough" and the rest are just rocks. I've lost on Longhorn the donkey, Jim the Walker, and now Brego. He had a good life while he was here and I was able to bring him back from starvation but he apparently can't accept life as a riding horse.

I don't want to play God but I'm not sure what other options I have. So, if anyone actually reads this blog, what would you do in this situatation? I think I know what I have to do but it would be nice to hear how others would handle the same situation. The more information and options I have, the better it will be for me to make an educated decision.