Tuesday, April 7, 2009

All Worked Up

Unfortunately I seem to be a bit worked up over my friend's horse. There is the unfortunate possibility that she may have to put her beloved Bubba down. That in turn makes me think back five months ago when I had to put down my beloved best friend, Ace. I'm not sure what was the hard part, making the phone call or showing up on that day to have him put down.

To top it off, there had been a mixup on the date I was scheduled to put Ace down. I took advantage of the extra days I had with him. But it only prolonged the pain for me. It was a swift and calm death but it had to be by my hand. I don't like playing god.

April 20th will mark five months from the day I had to say goodbeye to Ace. I still get teary eyed thinking about that day. Next month, May 16th will mark the one year annivesary of me having to put Blondie and Ten Man down. Maybe some day I'll blog about both of them. For now, the memory of their passing is still fresh in my mind. I vow to never go back to that vet.

Not long ago February 25th was the two year anniversary of losing my best friend and dream horse Tiny Dictator. I'm suprised that I can remember the dates. I figured I would want to forget them but for some reason I desparately want to remember each of the dates of their final day, along with their birthday, and day they arrived at Borderlands. I'm not sure why the dates are important, but they are to me. I guess if I hold on to the dates and make them important, than they won't be forgotten. 100 years from now, no one is going to remember Dictator, Ace, Blondie, or Ten Man. I guess that's why I want to leave some type of rememberance to them.

I guess right now I'm rambling more to keep my mind away from what my friend may possibly have to do. My heart goes out to them and I pray that they don't have to experience the same grief I had to go through five months ago. I guess with all life there is death and if you open your heart to anyone, two-legged or four, you have to learn to let go at some point. I can only wish and hope that I don't have to say goodbye to any of "the herd" any time soon. I don't think my heart can take it at this point.

Continuing to pray for Bubba. More prayers on the wind.

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