It's been three weeks to the day since we said goodbye to Rabbit. Every time we have to make the decision to say goodbye, it's devastating.
I've been meaning to tell everyone, thank you for your heartfelt condolences, well wishes, loving thoughts, and moral support. It has meant the world to me.
I'm no less worry free today than when Rabbit was alive. New worries take over and become my full focus. Bo has become an issue health-wise. Odd how even in death, life goes on.
I've been watching a few videos today of horses in feedlots with shipping deadlines. I'm not here to debate the feedlot programs, shipping to slaughter, or any of those sensitive topics. I'm only stating it because those horses....those horses don't have anyone to cry over them, lament over their needs and pending end, worry over if they've done the right thing, etc. I know I made the right decision for Rabbit. But I worry about those that I cannot save, cannot help. In South Dakota, we have drastic temperatures. We are heading in to summer and hot temps (well, hot for SD anyway). Is anyone trying to make these "unknown/unwanted" horses comfortable until their end?
This is the thought that constantly rolls through my brain. I wish I could do more, save more, promote more, provide more. But at the end of the day, I do what I can and the Sanctuary horses are fed and happy and I guess that's all I can ask for.
I miss Rabbit and every time I think of Mayhem, I feel a little sadness. Mayhem is the last of Rabbit's lineage. I wont' breed Mayhem. There's simply too many others that need to come in. But Mayhem is her last daughter. Will anyone remember Rabbit in a year? I know I will because I cared for her. But her previous owners, will they remember her? Will they think of her?
I don't know. I must be in a "mood" as my husband calls it. Death is inevitable and with the Sanctuary it's a fact hat is in my face day in and day out as I watch the herd grow older. But it's an honor and I truly enjoy watching them. This morning I let the herd out to pasture. Half moseyed on out and the other half waited for a good five minutes before taking off at a slow lope. It was music to my ears listening to their hoof beats thunder across the pasture. The only better sound is listening to my children's laughter.
I'm sure I'm just rambling and this post isn't making any sense. It certainly didn't go where I thought it was going. But I don't want to forget Rabbit, or any of the others that have walked into our lives, even if it was only briefly. It's amazing how fast time flies. How can it be that it has already been three weeks since we said goodbye to Rabbit. Mayhem still looks for her and probably will for a little while longer. It's a little heartbreaking to watch and listen as she whinnies for Rabbit.
But someday we will meet again. Hopefully not soon as I want to meet more deserving older horses before my time is up.
And I wanted to sincerely thank everyone for their kindness towards having to say goodbye to Rabbit. It makes doing what I do that much easier. I never realize how much I need the moral support until I get a pick me up from a supporter and it truly brightens my week. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all your help and moral support.