Ups and Downs

I've had a lot of ups and downs today. I'm afraid I'm emotionally drained again this evening so I'm sure to rant.

I scored big at the Lake County 4H Tack Sale. I sure wish I would have brought more cash. I am set for the wedding. I have enough bling to go around. I bought a very fancy bridle with matching breast collar that in the catalogs would have cost an arm and a leg. Just wish I would have thought to bring more cash. On well.

I'd hauled the horses to Madison so dad and I could ride. I wanted to see how Dad's vertigo would handle horseback riding. Least to say, no long trail rides happened today.

I ended up riding in the pen instead. But oh is Zeke a blast to ride. He's SO responsive. I put him into a lope and it was like riding on a cloud. I have never ridden a horse that's that smooth at a lope. Even Ace at an all out gallop wasn't ever that smooth. Riding Zeke was an absolute blast. Dad tried Zeke and I might lose Zeke to Dad if he can handle riding.

I switched over to Chaos once Dad got the cockleburs out of Chaos's mane and tail. Chaos looked like a unicorn when we showed up. I am pretty disappointed in Chaos. He's just not responsive. I need to really get after him and ride more. He's really gotten naughty. Rather disappointed.

In the afternoon we loaded up and headed home. We made it to Kramers about 5:30pm and they weren't yet to the horses. And of course, there's a thin horse that they wouldn't allow to run through the auction. I did talk with the vet about her. I also left my name and number. Hopefully the person who owns her will decide it's not worth the trip back to get her (since he's between Hills, MN and some other place I can't remember). My hope is that he'll abandon her and the auction will call. Poor thing was so thin. And she was only thin because the other mares pushed her around. She was blind in the left eye and older. Herds always pick out the old and dont' allow them to eat.

While standing there I hand fed her some hay. She slowly limped over and took the hay out of my hand. When we first saw her she looked either tired or that she'd shut down. After giving her a handful of hay, there was a different look in her eye. That first look she had was a look of starving. she'd shut down and resided herself to always being hungry. I wish I would have stood there and hand fed her the entire pile of hay. After I walked away the other mare pushed her away.

I want so badly for the owner to call but I know it won't happen. I think there were others that were willing to take her home, but *I* saw a different light in her eye. I saw something in her that I don't think others do. I'm just heart broke. I know I won't get a call.

I should have stayed for the actual auction but mike was along and I didn't want him to have to sit around for nothing so we went back home. i wish I would have stayed now. i wish I would have stayed and talked with the people after the auction to see what they were going to do with the mare. i wish I would have stayed to see if the owner would have shown up to take her home (to starve her to death in a pasture or pen full of horses that bully her). I wish I would have done something. i wish I would have done more. She's going to haunt me.