Bob

I am completely and absolutely devastated. It occurred to me last night that I may very well have to put Bob down. The realization hit me at the same spot where I realized I had to put Blondie down. I’ve had Bob out on the grass for the past two to three days munching on grass. My hope was that once Bob is on pasture that he’d gain the weight back. I’ve been pumping him full of soaked senior, soy meal, weight booster, oats, and alfalfa too no avail. I’d hoped the grass would be the key to his weight gain.

But as I was doing chores last night, I noticed huge wads of uneaten grass. The same types of uneaten wads of grass that Blondie spit out just before I put her down. I know Bob has been spitting out the alfalfa but my thought was he was sucking the alfalfa leaves and leaving the stems. But after seeing all the grass, I’m afraid that’s probably not the case.

I know I’ve been in denial about Bob’s weight but I’m utterly devastated. The real question now is, what do I do? Do I put Bob out to pasture and keep a close eye on him to see if he’s eating the grass or spitting it out? Do I put him out on pasture for the summer and put him down this fall? Or do I put Bob down sometime this spring/summer since he’s not picking up any weight and I’m afraid starting to starve. I’m afraid the only nutrition he’s getting is from the grain. I can’t grain him in the morning because he takes so long to devour his food.

I’m actually sick thinking about it. I had to deal with the same situation last spring/summer/fall with Ace. I knew he couldn’t make another winter. But what about Bob? I’ve done everything I can for him but I know that if I do decide to selfishly keep him going through the summer that no matter what I’ll have to put him down this fall. I’m not sure that Bob can handle another winter. He’s coming out of this winter so tough. Every day he seems lose another pound, which he doesn’t have to lose.

I am completely heart sick. This week has been pretty rough but the realization that I’m going to lose Bob is really taking it’s toll. I knew at some point I would have to put him down but not yet. He’s only 21. He should have at least another six years of life. I don’t want another one to leave me. I’ve seen too many of my four legged friends cross over I can’t stand the thought of another one leaving me. I know I’m being selfish but I can’t help it. I adore Bob, as to many others. There really are no words to describe how upset I am over the thought of losing Bob.

Please keep Bob in your prayers. Maybe he’ll miraculously gain enough weight to appease my worried mind. I know, I’m in denial but I can’t help it. Just the thought of losing Bob has me upset. When dad mentioned that Queen was off, I worried about her but knew that if she were to cross over now I wouldn’t be that upset. She’s 30 something so I’ll be sad to let her go but not completely surprised or upset by the thought. Bob is a total shock to me even though I’ve known in the back of my mind that Bob won’t last as long as the others. Why can’t he last until he’s 30 like Queen?

So now I’m back to painful worrying over my babies. I spent all last summer and fall worrying about Ace. I guess this spring, summer, and fall I’ll be worried about Bob and Queen. I guess that’s what happens when you take in older horses and run a retirement farm. It’s just so painful.