I have dealt with death many times and for some reason didn't understand what others were going through when they lost their beloved house dog. Now I do. We lost LeRoy, my beloved shepherd mutt on Christmas Day 2007 and that was a heartache but the passing of Trouble seems to be an even bigger heartache.
I'm not sure if it's better to plan for it and cry for the few days between the phone call and the actual deed or if it's better to have the shock of making the decision and having to act quickly. I think I'm still reeling but being that Trouble was with us for 12 years is probably the biggest deciding factor. I'm not sure how many times in the past 24 hours I've thought "oh I need to let Trouble out" or "oh her water dish is empty" but then I remember.
And the worst is she gave me the look. That look of "what are they doing to me" just before she passed. That will haunt me for awhile.
So while we continue with our daily chores and tasks at the Sanctuary, our hearts are very sorrowful and we all need time to adjust. If I'm not posting anything (or at least not posting about the daily activities at the Sanctuary, it's because I dont' want to bring anyone down and I'm simply at a loss for words because I'm still dealing with the loss.)
This is not goodbye but See Ya Later Alligator.